The scrutiny is never simply about choices when Black women dare to prioritize themselves. It's about deservability. The moment we claim luxury, prioritize our peace, or refuse to participate in our own diminishment, someone clutching their pearls and drafting a mediocre LinkedIn rant questions whether we've earned it. Whether we're being grateful enough. Whether we should be working harder, suffering more visibly, smiling through indignities to make others comfortable with our presence.

For generations, we've used these words to describe something deeper than stress or anxiety. It’s exhaustion—physical, emotional, generational.

I became obsessed with my nerves when I noticed small white spots spreading across my torso, growing larger by the day. When I finally saw a dermatologist, he took one look and said, “We’ll test it—but it’s vitiligo.”

I've come to realize that any space for Black women that doesn't intentionally cross-pollinate across class lines isn't just exclusive - it's incomplete.

The day I realized I was addicted to being a victim changed everything. While most won't admit to having a victim mentality, I will. I was justifiably a victim of trauma, violence, and loss. But I had turned victimhood into an art form.

I purposely waited until the hype, laughter, and memes died down to write this blog – because I believe the conversation deserves more.

In the midst of Kamala Harris’s historic and trailblazing front-run for the presidency, Black women find ourselves once again at the forefront of both celebration and scrutiny.

Instead of eliminating fears, why not upgrade them? It’s about swapping everyday worries for next-level challenges that signal growth and success.

While many studies have explored the historical and systemic causes of the pay gap, they often overlook a crucial element: the damaging impact of expected Black gratefulness.

At first, the source wasn't apparent, but the impact was undeniable. When life felt off-kilter, I began to question the nature of the content I consumed daily.